Women like organizing the chaos in their heads!
As with almost everything else, women probably feel the need to organize all that mess within their neural networks by ‘voicing’ their thoughts. One friend of mine told me that stringing sentences together was as satisfying to her as cleaning up her cupboard after it had been neglected for weeks! It’s like a verbal OCD, only it involves abstract thoughts that need to be folded ‘just right’ and neatly placed into your girl-friend’s brain!!
If you look at it from a mathematician’s perspective, it will come as no surprise why women are seen blabbering all over the place and are known to talk more than men! Remember ‘balanced equations’? Let’s write down one for the two genders of Homo Sapiens here:
W*x = M*y
where, W–> Women who talk
M–> Men who DON’T
x–>The amount women talk
y–> The amount men talk
Now, like my good old Mathematics teacher in school (who was a man BTW and also had a problem pronouncing ‘s’ the right way), let me just ‘shay’ that ‘shinsh ‘x’ is indirectly proportional to ‘y’, a decrease in the value of ‘y’ will lead to an automatic ‘increash’ in the value of ‘x’!! Anyway, you get the drift right? 😉
Women have a ‘history’ that ‘supports’ conversation!
By ‘history’ I also mean evolution! You know how men used to be out hunting while women sat back in the caves taking care of children? Well, there was no TV back then, or phones for that matter…the only form of entertainment? You got it! TALK TILL YOU DROP (which later became ‘shop till you drop‘ with the emergence of fancy clothes and malls!!) No wonder then that even now women talk way more than their male counterparts. It’s called EVOLUTION babies!
A lot to handle and not much support!
You enter a typical home, you will see the women bustling around, trying to manage work phone calls as well as calls from the ‘dhobi wala’, ‘istri wala’, ‘doodh wala’, ‘paper wala’ et al! The list of tasks for women are endless. Can they be blamed for talking about all of that to whoever they can lay their tired hands on?
It has been scientifically proven now that the average woman talks about 13000 words more than men! This much science HAS to be backed up by some sort of biological evidence right? Right! The culprit seems to be the Foxp2 protein in women’s brains. This language protein has been found to be responsible for the incessant chatter that women are known for!
That insatiable thirst for unnecessary knowledge!
Which girl doesn’t relish her little gossip right? In fact, this insatiable thirst sometimes reaches crazy heights…like the other day when I was chatting over Whatsapp and I witnessed the formation of what I now call a ‘nested group’ (programmers will know the immense significance of the nested loop..well this is no different!). Like with a nested loop, our ‘nested’ group was a group within a group, with the exception of just one particular member of the parent group! No prizes for guessing who the gossip is going to be about in this new group of temporarily poison-spewing women!! Some examples are ‘OMG what did she just say?’ , ‘Did you hear who she’s secretly engaged to?!’, ‘Do you know from where she got that new bag? It’s dreadful!’
But to be fair, nested groups have also been made to plan surprise parties for the absent group member… and this kind of planning is only possible by a determined gang of women! Balancing equations again, aren’t we?
And also..that ‘need’ to vent!
Everyone knows how men deal with their issues! They drink, they brawl, they make up…end of story. Boring! Now women have more..err..elaborate ways of dealing with any personal or professional crisis. They rant about it to their Bestie, then cry buckets into their favorite pillow, rant some more to their 2nd, 3rd and 4th Besties and finally when they’ve spoken enough vicious things about the concerned person, they have ‘dealt’ with it. Life is wonderful again!
Women DO have more issues, it’s just the blatant truth!
Men can blame their wives for talking more than them but they HAVE to admit that women really do deal with double the emotional drama of everyday life, which not only includes an angry boss or colleague, but also an upset mom-in-law or an absent maid! When life is this crazy, you don’t drink and brawl people! You TALK it out or SHOP it out. Period.
It’s how women bond..with literally ANYBODY!
Again, this must have something to do with evolution because talking is the only way a woman will ever bond with another woman, man or even animal! Observe how a man greets your pet dog (if you don’t have one, get one today!) and how a random woman greets them on the road.
The men will just pat them on the head and talk to YOU. One the other hand, the women will do most of their talking with your dog! ‘Hellllllloooooo youuuuu…oh you are a cutie pie aren’t you? Yes you ARE! Oh you are adorable aren’t you? Yes you ARE!’ By this point, you will just be left counting the number of questions about your dog she has already answered without you having to utter a word!
The eternal need to be appreciated in a male-dominated world!
And last, but far from being the least, women have this eternal need to be loved and appreciated for being themselves in a world that has ignored them for too long. There are societies out there that do not even allow women to have a voice, forget about talking more than men!
So, are the ladies really wrong in speaking ten to the dozen in such a skewed world? After all, somebody’s got to balance the equation right? 😉
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